Younger adults are less comfortable than older adults with initiating kind acts toward strangers
Publisher’s Note — Mike Sparks
As I sat down to share this article about whether America and Tennessee could use a little more kindness, the heartbreaking news came that Tennessee had lost one of its greatest treasures, Dolly Parton.
WWDD? What Would Dolly Do?
The timing struck me. Here I was thinking about kindness and how we treat one another when the news came about a woman whose life and career became synonymous with faith, generosity, humility and kindness. I often see the opposite: Doubt, Selfishness, Excessive Pride …and Cruelty—disturbingly visible online. I saw a terrible comment about someone’s death.
It also brought back memories of one of the most meaningful pieces of legislation I have had the privilege of working on in the Tennessee General Assembly — recognizing “Amazing Grace” as an official Tennessee State Song.
But there is a part of that story that deserves to be told.
I was looking for a way to tell the story of how slavery had needed in Great Britain 33 years before America where it cost our country roughly 650,000 lives. The miraculous story of the hymn Amazing Grace. When we were working on the legislation, I turned to my assistant at the time, Marvin, a 24-year-old African American from Memphis, and asked him a simple question:
“What singer in Tennessee does everyone seem to really like?”
He quickly answered…”Oh, that’s easy. It’s Dolly Parton.”
In fact, the idea of specifically recognizing Dolly Parton’s version of “Amazing Grace” was Marvin’s idea — not mine.
I have always loved that story because, in many ways, it represents what the song itself is about. Here was a young African American man from Memphis helping shape legislation involving a hymn written by a former slave-ship captain whose life was dramatically transformed by Christian faith and who later became part of the movement that helped bring an end to the British slave trade.
Ultimately, Senator Raumesh Akbari and I worked to pass legislation recognizing the iconic hymn “Amazing Grace” as an official Tennessee State Song.
… And what a powerful backstory that hymn carries.
John Newton spent part of his early life involved in the horrific transatlantic slave trade. His encounter with the Christian faith gradually transformed his life. Newton eventually became an Anglican minister, and while serving a congregation in Olney, England, he wrote the words that would become one of the most recognizable Christian hymns in history.
“Amazing grace! How sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me…”
Those weren’t merely poetic words. They reflected Newton’s understanding of his own sin, redemption and the transforming power of the Gospel.
Newton’s story would eventually intersect with another remarkable Christian, William Wilberforce, a wealthy, Cambridge-educated member of the British Parliament.
Wilberforce considered leaving politics for ministry after his own Christian conversion. Newton encouraged him instead to remain in Parliament and serve God where he had been placed.
That decision helped change history.
Wilberforce, Newton, Thomas Clarkson and other abolitionists spent years exposing the brutality of the slave trade. Clarkson gathered evidence. Newton provided firsthand testimony about the horrors aboard slave ships. Wilberforce became the political voice of the movement in Parliament.
They faced defeat after defeat, but they kept going.
Finally, in 1807, Parliament abolished the British slave trade. Wilberforce lived long enough to see legislation abolishing slavery throughout most of the British Empire pass Parliament in 1833, just days before his death.
That history makes “Amazing Grace” much more than a beautiful song.
It is a story about sin, repentance, redemption, perseverance and the power of faith to change a human heart.
And I believe that message is needed today.
Dolly Parton’s rendition seemed especially fitting for Tennessee. She never forgot where she came from. She carried her Tennessee roots around the world while using her success to help others. Through efforts such as childhood literacy and countless acts of generosity, she demonstrated that success and humility don’t have to be opposites.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Dolly said she hoped we would learn to see ourselves and one another “through the eyes of love.”
That message seems especially appropriate now.
Our country can feel terribly divided. Politics, social media and cultural disagreements can tempt us to view people who think differently as enemies rather than neighbors.
Maybe we need to rediscover something very simple:
Kindness isn’t weakness. Compassion isn’t surrender. Loving your neighbor doesn’t require agreeing with your neighbor.
Jesus said:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” — John 13:34
As Tennessee remembers Dolly Parton, perhaps one of the best ways we can honor her isn’t simply by playing her songs.
We can practice a little more kindness.
And perhaps, in a world still filled with plenty of “dangers, toils and snares,” America — and Tennessee — could use a little more Amazing Grace.
— Mike Sparks
Publisher, TennesseeLedger.com
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Solid majorities of Americans observe kindness being practiced in society as well as toward them, personally. And while slightly more than half of Americans say they are very comfortable initiating acts of kindness toward strangers, younger adults are much less likely to be comfortable doing so than older adults.
More broadly, most Americans believe people in the U.S. are at least somewhat kind; their assessment is strongly related to how often they personally witness acts of kindness.
These results are based on a Values in Action/Gallup survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults interviewed by web March 2-18 using the Gallup Panel.
Solid Majorities Report Seeing Kind Acts
Americans commonly see others acting kind or respectful toward others. Six in 10 U.S. adults say they see people treating others with kindness and respect either “very often” (20%) or “often” (40%), while 32% “sometimes” see kind behavior and just 8% say they “rarely” or “never” do.
Slightly more Americans, 65%, say they have personally experienced an act of kindness from someone in their community “many” (17%) or “a few” (48%) times in the past seven days. Another 16% say this has happened once in the past week, while 18% say this has not happened to them recently.
There are few notable subgroup differences in being the beneficiary of kind acts, including by income, region of the country, and urban, suburban or rural residence. Older Americans, those aged 65 and older, are somewhat more likely than those in younger age groups to say they have experienced multiple kind acts in the past week.
When it comes to observing others being treated with kindness and respect, younger adults (those aged 18 to 29), lower-income adults, those who have less formal education and people of color are less likely than other subgroups to report seeing kind behavior often or very often.
Younger Adults Less Comfortable Being Kind Toward Strangers
A slim majority of U.S. adults, 52%, say they would be “very comfortable” initiating a kind act toward a stranger in their community. Another 38% say they would be “somewhat comfortable,” while 7% would be “not too comfortable” and 2% “not at all comfortable.”
Younger people are much less likely than older people to say they would be comfortable performing kind acts for people they don’t know. Whereas 64% of adults aged 65 and older say they are very comfortable initiating kind acts toward strangers, 49% of those aged 30 to 49 and just 35% of those aged 18 to 29 are.
Other demographic differences in comfort initiating kind acts, such as by education, income and race, appear to largely be a function of age, as younger people in those subgroups are less comfortable being kind toward strangers than older people in the same subgroup.
Receiving More Kind Acts Related to Comfort in Initiating Kind Acts
U.S. adults who receive acts of kindness more often report higher comfort levels in initiating kind acts toward others. Close to eight in 10 U.S. adults who say they have personally experienced kind acts many times in the past seven days are very comfortable initiating kind acts toward strangers in their community. The percentage slips to 54% among those who say this has happened to them a few times in the past seven days and is less than 40% among those who have experienced kindness once or not at all.
This pattern is seen among all age groups, but the relationship is somewhat weaker among younger than older Americans. Forty percent of adults aged 18 to 29 who have received multiple acts of kindness in the past seven days say they are very comfortable initiating kind acts toward strangers in their community. This compares with 72% of adults aged 50 and older who have received multiple acts of kindness recently.
Notably, the four in 10 young adults who have received multiple kind acts and feel very comfortable initiating kind acts toward strangers is on par with the percentage of older adults who haven’t received multiple kind acts themselves. And only about one in four young adults who have recently received one or no acts of kindness feel very comfortable initiating kind acts toward strangers.
Most Americans View People in U.S. as Generally Kind
Nearly three-quarters of Americans perceive that U.S. adults are either “very” (11%) or “somewhat” (62%) kind, while 22% think they are “not too kind” and 5% “not kind at all.”
The extent to which Americans view the U.S. as a kind nation is strongly related to their observing acts of kindness by others.
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Ninety-two percent of those who very often see people treating others with kindness and respect believe most people in the U.S. are at least somewhat kind, including 35% who describe most Americans as being very kind.
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Among those who sometimes see people treating others with kindness, 58% believe most Americans are very or somewhat kind.
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Only 1% of those who never see kind and respectful behavior toward others think most Americans are kind. Seventy-six percent of these adults think most Americans are “not kind at all.”
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