Refined Through Fire: How God Uses Trials to Build Your Character
Your Haters Are Working for Your Destiny: The Setback That’s Really a Setup for What God Is Doing
One of our recent Sunday School lessons focused on adversity—how God often uses trials and tribulations to redirect our paths and refine our purpose. It motivated me to share some experiences from my own journey. My hope is that these stories might encourage someone who’s walking through their own struggles right now.
The other day I came across an article about Michelangelo and his iconic sculpture of David that perfectly captured this truth. The piece explored how Michelangelo believed God was using him as a vessel for divine inspiration—that his hands were simply the instrument, and the vision came from above.
What struck me most was the symbolism: even amid doubters and enemies, God transforms opposition into purpose. Michelangelo captured this truth in marble. Unlike other Renaissance sculptures that depict David *after* his victory over Goliath, Michelangelo’s David stands poised *before* the battle—calm, focused, and resolute.
This choice was intentional. It mirrors how God leveraged David’s adversaries to fuel his ultimate triumph. The opposition didn’t diminish David; it defined his destiny. Michelangelo channeled that same spiritual truth into stone, creating a timeless emblem of strength forged through adversity—a reminder that our greatest tests often precede our greatest victories.
The statue of David was never meant to remain hidden in the marble, and neither are we meant to remain unchanged by our struggles. Michelangelo understood that creating something extraordinary required patient, deliberate work on material others had rejected, and he knew that David’s disproportionately large hands—his “strong hands” or *manu fortis*—needed to be emphasized to tell the complete story of a shepherd boy who would defeat a giant. Similarly, God does not waste our pain; He uses every trial to develop in us the exact strengths we will need for the battles and callings ahead. The marble had to endure the chisel. David had to be struck again and again before he could stand in his full glory, becoming a symbol of courage and faith that would inspire millions for over five hundred years. We too must endure the Master Sculptor’s hand, trusting that every hardship has purpose, every tribulation has meaning, and that the final work—our transformed lives—will reflect not our own strength, but the incomparable artistry of the God who never gives up on even the most flawed and rejected stones.
During my life I never imagined that my greatest opposition would become part of my greatest testimony, but that’s exactly what God has been teaching me. My wife and I had started MidTnAutso.com in Smyrna, Tennessee, trying to provide for my family and serve my community. Growing up in Smyrna and LaVergne, spending weekends with my late WW11 father who lived on Hillview Drive in LaVergne. I always felt that the north end of the county was left out and treated as “lesser than.” That sense of being overlooked, of watching my community be dismissed, planted a desire to get involved.
When I initially entered public service, I ran for the Rutherford County Commission—a decision that would test me in ways business never had. Both that campaign and my later run for state representative proved tougher than anything I had faced in the private sector. There’s an old political axiom: beating a likable, popular incumbent is nearly impossible.
I was up against exactly that—a wealthy Vanderbilt graduate attorney who was exceptionally well-liked in the community.
Kent Coleman Bridge Dedication, Nov 1, 2019
Kent Coleman had everything going for him: education, resources, and genuine popularity. Both my wife and I understood why. We genuinely liked Kent ourselves—so much so that years later, I named a bridge after him, the one next to Karen’s Kustard Restaurant.
Tragically, Kent passed away from complications of Cystic Fibrosis. He was, remarkably, one of the longest survivors of the disease—a testament to his strength and determination, the same qualities that made him such a formidable opponent.
It has been said that Governor Bill Haslam’s political machine spent $1,000,000 attacking ten of us who had signed the letter to him requesting the education commissioner’s resignation. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch next to my wife watching television when a commercial came on attacking me during my primary election, accusing me of raising taxes 13 or 14 times. It was another political ad that was way over the top, and my wife was really upset. Fortunately, she wasn’t crying Iike she has with the other attack ads against me—yes, and some have been very nasty!
Ironically, I knew exactly who was behind it. A friend who had been helping me asked, “How do you know it’s that guy?” I said, “I can feel it.” My gut instinct was correct, just as it has been in other major decisions, such as marrying my wife, leaving Nissan Motor Manufacturing, starting MidTnAutos.com, Tennessee’s first dot-com car business, and passing legislation like the gun-safe tax cut bill, childhood sexual trauma legislation, mental health legislation, my affordable housing TACIR study, and more.
But here’s what I’ve learned through the fire: your haters are working for your destiny, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Those setbacks that seemed designed to end my influence were actually setups for what God was really doing in my character.
There’s a refining process that happens in the heart of every person who walks with God. It’s not comfortable. It’s not easy. And it rarely makes sense while you’re going through it. But when you look back, you realize that every obstacle, every betrayal, every moment of opposition was actually shaping you into the person you were destined to become.
The truth is this: God doesn’t waste your pain. He uses every difficulty, every trial, every tribulation, and yes, even every “hater” to build something powerful inside you. What others mean for harm, God transforms into the very foundation of your character.
The Shepherd Boy Nobody Believed In
Consider David. When the prophet Samuel came to anoint the next king of Israel, Jesse paraded his sons before him—all except David. His own father didn’t even think to call him in from the fields. His brothers dismissed him as nothing more than a shepherd boy playing with sheep.
But while his family overlooked him, God was preparing him.
Those lonely hours in the wilderness weren’t wasted time. When a lion came to steal a lamb from his flock, David didn’t run. When a bear attacked, he didn’t hide. He fought—He won. And in those moments that nobody else witnessed, God was building something inside David that would one day bring down a giant.
“The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear,” David declared, “will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
David’s brothers mocked him when he showed up at the battle line. They questioned his motives. They tried to shame him into going back home. But their rejection had already done its work. It had taught David that his validation didn’t come from family approval. It came from God alone.
Every insult, every dismissal, every moment of being underestimated was forging an unshakeable confidence in who God said he was, not who people thought he should be.
The Dreamer Thrown Into a Pit
One of my favorite stories that of Joseph. A young man with a dream and a special coat. His brothers hated him for it. Not just mild resentment—actual hatred. They threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery. They watched him being dragged away in chains and then went home to lie to their father.
Imagine the betrayal. The confusion. The nights Joseph must have cried out asking God, “Why? I had a dream from You. How did I end up here?”
But slavery became his classroom. Potiphar’s house taught him administration. Prison taught him patience. False accusations taught him integrity. Years of waiting taught him trust.
The pit was painful, but it wasn’t purposeless. Egypt wasn’t a mistake, it was a master class. Every person who betrayed him, every circumstance that seemed to destroy him, was actually positioning him. When famine came and nations trembled, Joseph stood as second-in-command of the greatest empire on earth.
And when his brothers finally stood before him, terrified and guilty, Joseph spoke words that echo through the ages: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
The haters had their plan. But God had a bigger one.
When Opposition Becomes Your Opportunity
God has a pattern. He takes the stones thrown at you and builds monuments with them. He takes the rejection meant to stop you and uses it to redirect you toward your purpose.
Consider Moses, rejected by Pharaoh’s palace and his own people, spending forty years in a desert before leading the Exodus. Think of Job, who lost everything only to have his latter days blessed more than his beginning. Remember Esther, an orphan who became queen at just the right time to save her people.
The writer of Hebrews tells us that even Jesus “learned obedience through what he suffered.” If the Son of God was perfected through trials, how much more do we need the refining fire?
What Trials Really Build
When you’re in the middle of hardship, it’s difficult to see what God is building. But here’s what trials develop in you:
Perseverance. You can’t build endurance without something to endure. Every difficulty you push through strengthens your spiritual stamina.
Character. Pressure reveals what’s really inside you. It shows you what needs to change and what needs to grow. Like gold in fire, the impurities rise to the surface so they can be removed.
Hope. Tested faith produces a hope that doesn’t disappoint. When you’ve seen God come through before, you learn to trust Him in the next storm.
Compassion. Your pain gives you the ability to comfort others. Your testimony becomes someone else’s survival guide. Your wounds become your ministry.
Humility. Success without struggle creates arrogance. Trials keep you dependent on God. They remind you that every victory is His doing, not yours.
Wisdom. Experience is the greatest teacher. The lessons learned in valleys are often deeper than those learned on mountaintops.
The Purpose of the Haters
Here’s a truth that might surprise you: your haters are actually working for your destiny, whether they know it or not.
When David’s brothers ridiculed him, they pushed him toward Goliath. When Joseph’s brothers sold him, they sent him toward his throne. When Pharaoh’s daughter’s servants probably gossiped about Moses, they prepared him to choose his true identity.
Opposition forces you to clarify your calling. Criticism forces you to strengthen your convictions. Rejection forces you to find your approval in God alone.
Your haters are exposing the weak areas in your armor so you can strengthen them. They’re revealing who your real friends are. They’re teaching you to fight battles on your knees before you fight them in the open.
Every person who doubts you is giving you fuel. Every door that closes is redirecting you to the right one. Every setback is actually a setup for a comeback.
Keep Going
If you’re in a trial right now, hold on. If you’re surrounded by opposition, stand firm. If you feel overlooked, underestimated, or betrayed, remember that you’re in good company. The heroes of faith all walked this path before you.
God is not absent in your pain. He’s present in it, working through it, using it for purposes you can’t yet see. The wilderness is temporary, but the character you build there is eternal. The opposition is loud, but it’s not stronger than God’s plan for your life.
One day, you’ll stand on the other side of this. You’ll look back and see the lion and the bear that God delivered you from. You’ll see the pit that became your platform. You’ll see how every piece fit together to create something beautiful.
And when you do, you’ll know without a doubt: God doesn’t waste your trials. He uses them to build a testimony that will point others toward Him.
Your story isn’t over. It’s just being written in ways you never expected. Trust the Author. He knows exactly what He’s doing.
